my mouth tastes like poor choices
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
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