so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
