either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Randomize
