I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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