What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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