Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
As shirtless as possible
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Everyone says I win the strip club
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Randomize