Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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