just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
