dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
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