You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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