I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
