We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
