Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Randomize
