hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
