Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize