Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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