About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
