I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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