just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Semen is not good for contacts.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Randomize
