why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
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