Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Come on in and take your pants off
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