I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
