Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
