And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
