my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize
