ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
We're too hungover to prance.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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