We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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