drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
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