Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
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jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
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I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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