Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
Randomize
