I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
