i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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