Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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