that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
