Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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