Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
