I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
