I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize
