did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Randomize
