Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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