I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
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