My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize