i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
She even gives head with a lisp.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Randomize
