he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
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