My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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