I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
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