ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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