if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Sober January is a disaster.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Randomize
