i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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