They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
