Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
