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I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Why did my mother make you get naked?
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