Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Is it because I queefed?
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
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