ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
