so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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