Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Randomize
