Got a toothbrush?
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize