Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize