Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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