he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
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Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
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She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
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