Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize