it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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