i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Randomize
