Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
