He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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